Posted by: cocacolacoporateamerica | March 26, 2009

Tying Up Loose Ends with Scat and 6

Now that the Backlash Premiere is over and done with, we finally got a chance to sit down and talk with Scat and 6 about just what exactly happened during Backlash‘s development. As we all know, Scat and 6 were put in charge of developing Backlash, and during the premiere itself, they produced the movie that Sneaky Pete said was not finished. So what happened exactly? That’s what we’re here to find out.

Warning: Explicit Language. NSFW

CCCPB: Hey guys, glad to see you guys back. How’s life been treating you since the premiere?

Scat: Its been good. Coke’s given us a 3 month vacation, so all we’ve really been doing is lazing around and spending ridiculous sums of money.

6: You’re the only one that’s been lazing around. I’ve actually done some useful work.

CCCPB: Haha well that’s good to hear. So tell us, what happened exactly? How did you guys get in charge of Backlash, and what the hell was that little incident during the premiere?

Scat: That’s going to be a long story. Well after that little fiasco in the strip club, I became my old friend Cindy’s manager. Her goal in life was to be a model y’know? She was my on and off girlfriend, and I’ve known her since high school.

CCCPB: Wait. You mean Cindy as in Babe-a-licious Cindy?

Scat: Yeah that’s her.

CCCPB: You lucky b*stard! Well go on.

Scat: Well I was her manager for a while, and I actually got her signed on to a contract with Christian Dior! I got a call from Coca-Cola’s VP, Gary Brennan. He wanted to hire me for this huge marketing thing, but I turned him down at first. But at the resturant where I was getting Cindy her Christian Dior contract, I met up with 6. Long story short, we break up, my stuff’s still in Cindy’s apartment, and I end up moving in with 6, and we both agree to work with Brennan and his marketing shenanigan.

6: Well, my story is actually a lot less interesting. I just started up a very small one person company called Synergy, which I ran from my pitiful little apartment. I just bumped into Scat that one day, and we decided to go work with Brennan.

CCCPB: Is this where the movie comes in?

6: Yup. He tells us about Coke’s one hundred forty million dollar ad movie, and he tells us about how Sneaky Pete is gunning for his job.

Scat: The movie is really just a 2 hour long advertisement that you pay seven dollars to see. Best marketing idea in history!

6: His plan was to try to get rid of Sneaky Pete’s movie, but introducing a second movie, to try to compete with Sneaky Pete’s. Brennan gives us ten thousand dollars. Ten thousand dollars to compete with Sneaky Pete’s one hundred forty million, with around a day to finish it. We were so f*cking lucky that my old roommate was a major in film. She helped crank out a romantic comedy film for us within the time limit and we were able to show it during the board meeting.

Scat: Hey. I helped too. The only reason the chairman even agreed to see our film was because I pointed out that Sneaky Pete’s film was too serious, and didn’t allow the audience to connect with the characters. After the chairman sees our little film, he decides to put my in charge of Backlash. Unfortunately, that also makes Sneaky Pete my boss. See despite all that we did, Brennan still lost his job to Sneaky Pete for subverting the work of his own employees. Poor guy. He decides to put himself off the whole project, and inserts a committee in his place. The committee was full of dumb*sses who had no idea what the hell they were doing. They were the ones who changed Cindy’s name to Babe-a-Licious. Idiots. We were able to get rid of them eventually though.

6: Sneaky Pete decides to create a carbon copy of me. Calls her @, and struts her around as his new arm candy. She f*cks with our project, and even sabotages our deadlines. Speaking of deadlines, the whole movies process was full of deadlines. Deadline after deadline. We were so squeezed for time we had to rush a lot of the filming. Thankfully, Kline was cooporative, and we managed to get the filming done.

Scat: That b*tch @ was the reason why we didn’t even know of the premiere until around a week before. We had to rush the last bits of filming, and we almost didn’t finish the Visuality section of the film. Jerry, our visuality guy, had a Warlords tournament or some nerdy sh*t like that, and couldn’t do our film. We had to get Gwyneth Paltrow to play for him, so that he could get his *ss into gear and finish our film. We barely finished in the nick of time.

6: And that’s where Sneaky Pete jumps back in. He had to decide whether or not to blame us and say there was no movie, or take all the credit for the movie. I trusted the fact that Scat would tell the truth and that Scat would believe that he was lying. Which is exactly what happened. Sneaky Pete blamed us for having no movie, when we really did. The son-of-a-b*tch deserved it.

CCCPB: Damn. That is one hell of a story. Sneaky Pete was really f*cking with you guys the whole time huh? Now I don’t feel as bad for him. So… you two are an item now huh?

Scat: Yup!

CCCPB: 6 what happened to being a lesbian? Was that a lie?

6: Well. Yeah. I couldn’t show any sign of weakness though. Being a “lesbian” allowed me the freedom to work unharrassed by my disgusting male co-workers and bosses. I am a woman in a d*ck-measuring contest, and any woman who showed any signs of feminity fell out of the contest. I’m still in there, convincing everyone that my d*ck is the biggest.

CCCPB: Wait. But…

6: Perception is Reality

CCCPB: Right. That’s just one hell of a way to put it. So what can we expect from you guys in the near future?

Scat: Well we’re both still working for Coke. I’m producing Backlash II, and Diet Life. Maybe a new movie called Soda. I co-own Synergy with 6, and we’re going to see how far we can get on this corporate ladder.

CCCPB: Good luck to both of you. It was great talking to you guys, and I can’ t wait to see the new movies!

6: No problem. I’m sure we’ll see you again soon.

I never knew there was so much backstabbing and sabatoge in the corporate industry. But then again, what would you have expected? Its a dog eat dog world out there.

And again, for those of you who haven’t watched Backlash yet, go watch it! With a freshnes rating of over 80% on rottentomatoes.com, ign.com giving it 5/5, and with critics from all over the country raving about it, there should be no reason why you haven’t seen it yet. So go to the theaters, and enjoy!

Posted by: cocacolacoporateamerica | March 26, 2009

Backlash Premiere!

So today was the movie premiere for Backlash, and boy was it something. Held at Mann’s Chinese Theatre, the place was jam packed with celebrities. From Tom Cruise to Bruce Willis, from Angelina Jolie to Megan Fox, the entire Hollywood entourage was there. Everyone seemed to be interested in Backlash, and everyone had extremely high expectations for the movie.

And did it deliver. The movie was spectacular, and everyone in the crowd went wild for it. Critics were raving all about it over the internet, and everyone at the theatre was ecstatic. Compliments and praises were heard all around as the stars of the movies held the limelight for the rest of the night.

Mann's Chinese Theatre

Mann's Chinese Theatre

Tom Cruise joking around on the red carpet.

Tom Cruise joking around on the red carpet.

Gwyneth Paltrow in a stunning pink dress.

Gwyneth Paltrow in a stunning pink dress.

Winona Ryder on the red carpet.

Winona Ryder on the red carpet.

However, the most interesting event that occurred during the premiere was a supposed change of power that happened during the movie’s development. Sneaky Pete seemed to have given up his position as the head of the movie to Scat and 6. He also said that there would be no movie to premiere, but Scat and 6 stood up instead and produced a movie, utterly humiliating Sneaky Pete, and literally destroying his entire career. What this means, we do not know yet. We also have no idea what happened exactly during the developmental phase of the movie, but hopefully we will find out soon enough.

In the meantime, go watch Backlash! I can assure you, it is worth both your time and money.

Posted by: cocacolacoporateamerica | March 26, 2009

Sneaky Pete Talks Backlash

Word has gotten out that the infamous Sneaky Pete is in charge of Backlash. So naturally, we offered out another interview invitation. Surprisingly, he accepted this time. We hope that this interview is going to reveal more information about the movie itself, considering how little is known about the movie itself. The set is sealed airtight, and no one has been able to go on set without special clearance.

Warning: Explicit Language, NSFW

CCCPB: So, thanks for finally accepting our interview request. But before we get into the movie itself, tell us, how have you reacted to the somewhat negative publicity from the Scat and 6 interviews?

Sneaky Pete: Well, as I had said earlier, Coca-Cola Fukk is my own creation. Also, the “lunch meeting” that supposedly happened in the strip club never happened. A bunch of lies and hot air can’t generate much negative publicity now they? I just simply brushed them off and moved onwards.

CCCPB: Of course. So you are now on the fast track to becoming Vice President of Coca Cola’s Marketing Department?

Sneaky Pete: That’s right.

CCCPB: Wow! That is ridiculous. You’re like what 27 years old? Congratulations! So lets talk about Backlash. We know the basic premise of the movie, but that’s about it.

Sneaky Pete: Well, Coca-Cola has put a large amount of investment inside this movie. We have invested around one hundred forty million dollars inside this project.

CCCPB: Wait Wait. A hundred forty million f*cking dollars?!

Sneaky Pete: Yes. A hundred. Forty million. F*cking dollars. Pepsi has been doing product placements for years. Its our turn now. The movie is being directed by the critically acclaimed director Howard Kline, and all the actors are A list celebrities, including Tom Cruise, Gwyneth Paltrow and Winona Ryder. The whole Hollywood movie machine jumped on the bandwagon. Tom Cruise plays the main protagonist, a burly Marine that’s leading the assault against the aliens. Winona Ryder plays the alien queen, who is leading the assault against Earth, and Gwyneth Paltrow plays Tom Cruise’s love interest.

CCCPB: Wow. This movie has a lot of potential. What about effects, music, scenery, set design etc?

Sneaky Pete: We have full teams working on each of those different aspects. John Williams is in charge of the music, and is working with various artists to come up with our movie’s soundtrack. We have the team that did the special effects for 300 and Watchmen do the special effects for our film, and are also working on the scenery. Actually, we have multiple teams working on special effects. Our costume design is something that I am particularly proud of. The team managed to slide in something related to Coca-Cola in all the costumes, even the extra’s costumes. It’ll be fun for the fans to pick out the various Coca-Cola signs and logos.

CCCPB: You have gotten me even more excited for this movie, if that’s even possible.

Sneaky Pete: I bet. Now if you will excuse me, I have a lunch meeting to attend to.

CCCPB: Ah. Another “lunch meeting”?

Sneaky Pete: You could say that.

This movie is going to amazing. The whole cast is made up of Hollywood A listers and the movie is being directed by Howard f*cking Kline! The guy is a genius!

Remember guys! May 15, 2009!

Posted by: cocacolacoporateamerica | March 26, 2009

Backlash

We are proud to introduce the first Coca-Cola movie ever: Backlash. Details on the movie is scarce, and the higher-ups are being hush-hush about this. However, the main premise is that aliens invade the Earth, and we are forced to fight back. The reason for the invasion? Coca-Cola. It will be released May 15, 2009.

Its going to be amazing.

Backlash.

Backlash.

Posted by: cocacolacoporateamerica | March 26, 2009

New Fukk Designs!

We have decided to change the design of Coca-Cola Fukk, so there would be less confusion with Coca-Cola Blāk. Also, due to popular demand, we have converted Coca-Cola Fukk into an energy drink, giving you a bigger bang for your buck.  You asked, we delivered.

These are just a few of the new Coca-Cola Fukk designs. Enjoy.

fukk

fukk-responsibly

fukk-energy

Posted by: cocacolacoporateamerica | March 25, 2009

Coca-Cola White!

We are proud to introduce our new and latest product: Coca-Cola White! With new flavor and new sensations, this is bound to be a Coke you definately don’t want to pass up! It is also packaged in our new white can, making the new Coca-Cola White as unique as you are.

As our way promoting our new Coca-Cola White, celebrities, including Manolo Blahnik, the Scissor Sisters and Trevor Nelson, were asked to draw something on a white Coca-Cola bottle that `makes their world just a little bit better’. For every bottle Coca-Cola receieved, we pledged £1,000 to THT, resulting in an incredible donation of £16,000. Four of the designs have been reproduced, and are available in limited quantities. Don’t miss out and get them while you can!

Our Coca-Cola White Limited Sunshine Collection

Our Coca-Cola White Limited Sunshine Collection

Posted by: cocacolacoporateamerica | March 25, 2009

A chat with 6

Despite the unparalleled success of the summer ad campaign, once again there is a great deal of rumors surrounding the creators of the summer campaign, Scat and 6. It is a well known fact that they have both quit their jobs at Coca-Cola, though the story behind their resignation is still a mystery. Fortunately, we managed to get an interview with 6 and she helped cleared up just exactly what happened. We tried to send an invitation to Scat, but sadly, we were unable to contact him.

Warning: Explicit Language, NSFW

CCCPB: I just want to say thanks for accepting our interview request. Before we start I just want to say you look absolutely stunning. Nice miniskirt. And we’re really sorry that you lost you and Scat lost your jobs after such a successful ad campaign.

6: Yeah no problem. I’m sorry too. What they did back there was just dirty and cheap. I mean who the hell holds a godd*mn lunch meeting in a f*cking strip club?! And yes. Its true. I am a lesbian. So don’t even think about it.

CCCPB: Strip club? Oh sh*t. That can never be good. But before we get into that, tell us a bit about yourself. I’m really interested to know where you got your name from.

6: Hmm…fine. Yes. My name is 6. When I was born, my name was zero. It was especially meaningful, having my new name as well as my age in frosty blue icing in my birthday cake. I was renamed a new number every year.

CCCPB: You…. You’re kidding right? I have to call bullsh*t on this one. If that’s the case, what happened to 7?

6: I knew you were going to say that. My parents were killed in a plane crash. When I was six years old. Happy?

CCCPB: Oh god. I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I’m sorry.

6: Its ok. I’m used to it by now. Everyone doubts everything in my life. My name, my age, my education, my sexuality, everything. Until I prove them wrong. Yes I am only 21 years old. I graduated from high school at 15, did four years at UCLA, an M.B.A at Stanford. Any other questions?

CCCPB: About you? Um. No.  Well tell us, how did you and Scat get into the summer ad campaign? I thought you were working on Fukk. And where did you guys get the idea for the main ad? Its brilliant!

6: So I was the head of the Fukk project. I believe Scat would have worked with me if he actually remembered to trademark his own ideas. Unfortunately, I get shafted on Fukk.  Sneaky Pete gets hired to work next to me for the launch, and is basically the company’s new golden boy. Not only does he get the rights for Fukk, for all practical purposes, he’s doing my job. He gets a top marketing job in one of the largest company in the world and gets the responsibility for launching a definite hit. How? He steals other people’s ideas and work. Little piece of sh*t.

CCCPB: Sneaky Pete strikes again huh? So they asked you to work on the summer campaign instead? That sounds more like a promotion.

6: Yeah well they already finished the design work, they just wanted me to implement their designs. I decided to give them the big “F*ck You” and I went and redesigned the entire summer launch. I “hired” Scat, though nobody could really know about it until it was done. If they found out that I was going to replace the campaign they spent months developing I would’ve lost my job. In the end I lost my job anyways so that little part was kind of stupid.

CCCPB: So what did you guys end up doing?

6: Scat was in charge of thinking of ideas. We wanted our campaign to be different from all the other Coca-Cola summer ads. Of course the other ads with the bright colors and girls in bikinis would still be there of course, but our ad would be the main one, and it would have a completely different tone. He actually didn’t think of a idea in time for the deadline, but we were still able to show the SMT [Senior Management Team] our ad. Basically, Scat and I had an argument about not making the deadline, and we end up going to a bar. He decides to buy a Coke from the machine, and the can gets stuck. He tries shaking the machine and the machine topples on top of him, and it is there were he gets his moment of genius. I don’t have a picture of the ad on me but its set up in a railway station at night, and there is a Coke machine on its side with some guy’s arm sticking out from underneath it. The ad says “Last year, 12 Americans lost their lives while attempting to steal from a Coke machine. Wouldn’t you die for a Coke?”

CCCPB: Oh yeah, I’ve seen that ad everywhere in LA. Fantastic job! Wait so if it was such a success what happened?

6: They took us off the campaign obviously. They set up a meeting at a f*cking strip club, the SMT guys and Sneaky Pete. A f*cking stripclub! They get the V.P of Coca-Cola [Mr. Jamieson] on a damn phone, put it in a stripclub, and Jamieson thinks we’re in an office building. They even put strippers on our laps! And the meeting was about whether or not we could execute the campaign, whether or not we had the skill to do it.

CCCPB: And you lost? You don’t seem like one who would lose a fight like that.

6: Thanks I guess. But yes I lost, and that surprised me as well. But Sneaky Pete said I was pregnant. Pregnant. I am not pregnant. I cannot believe he had the balls to say that. But after he said that I just snapped, and just stormed out of the club.

CCCPB: Wow. That is incredibly dirty. Did Jamieson ever find out?

6: I’m not sure actually. I don’t think it would have mattered. By then I had already quit working at Coca-Cola.

CCCPB: Well, what are you going to do now?

6: I think I’m going to start up my own business I guess. I have some ideas on what I’m going to do. And besides, having a M.B.A from Stanford will definitely help in the job finding process.

CCCPB: Well thanks again for the interview. We wish you luck.

6: Thanks. I think I’m going to need it.

Shocking isn’t it? This surprised the hell out of me as well. I would have never expected something like this, though I guess anything can happen in this world.

On a lighter note, here are some of the ads that are going out as part of the Summer Ad Campaign.

Coca-Cola and Bikinis. What more could you ask for?

Coca-Cola and Bikinis. What more could you ask for?

Another Summer Ad

Another Summer Ad

Unfortunately, we were not allowed to post Scat and 6’s ad on our blog. However, if you just simply look it up online or just go to the nearest billboard, you’ll probably be able to see it.

We wish Scat and 6 luck in their future endevours. They’re gonna need it. Its a harsh world out there.

Posted by: cocacolacoporateamerica | March 25, 2009

Welcome to Summer!

Woohoo! Summer’s finally here! And with that we welcome also our new summer ad campaign! New posters and billboards will be up soon, and although I’m not allowed to show you guys the ads just yet, I can assure you that they are absolutely hilarious. Scat and 6 did a great job on them.

With the release of the new summer campaign, we’re going to be releasing several limited edition glass Coke bottle variations. Only a small amount of these bottles are going to be released, so you guys better hurry if you want to get your hands on them!

These are the 8 different designs that are going to be used for the limited edition Coke bottles.

These are the 8 different designs that are going to be used for the limited edition Coke bottles.

Posted by: cocacolacoporateamerica | March 25, 2009

Polling time!

Posted by: cocacolacoporateamerica | March 25, 2009

Oh How Scandalous! An Interview with Mr. Scat

As you all may have heard by now, there is confusion over just who exactly is the true creator of our now incredibly popular Coca-Cola Fukk. The trademark for Coca-Cola Fukk is actually owned by Yuong Ang, better known as Sneaky Pete, who is an employee at Coca-Cola. However, another employee named Scat, whose real name is Michael George Holloway, claims that he is the true creator of Coca-Cola Fukk.

We were able to secure an interview with Scat, who seemed very eager to tell his side of the story. However, our invitation to Sneaky Pete was turned down, and we were instead given a statement issued by Sneaky Pete. “Coca-Cola Fukk is a product that I developed myself, and the trademark is issued under my name, Sneaky Pete. I have in no way stolen anyone’s creative efforts. “

Mr. Scat begged to differ, and the following interview is in its original unfiltered form.

WARNING: Explicit Language. NSFW

CCCPB (Coca-Cola Company Publicity Blog): So thanks for accepting our interview request Mr. Scat.

Scat: No problem. And please, just call me Scat.

CCCPB: Haha of course. So first, start off by telling us about yourself, and just exactly where did you come up with that name.

Scat: Well, I had actually wanted to go into Law School, you know, some Ivy League thing. However, my high school counselor shattered my dreams of becoming a lawyer by telling me that I didn’t have the grades for it. I think he also ruined an excellent daydream I was having about cheerleaders as well. B*stard. Well the only school that accepted me was Cal State, which is why I ended up California. My parents moved to Iowa after they found out that the only school that accepted me was Cal State. I’m still not sure if that was a coincidence. I was late to my registration, and the only class they managed to get my sorry-*ss into a marketing class, and that changed my life forever. To me, marketing is like the world’s largest religion, and completely, utterly corrupt. But people don’t see it like that. Perception is Reality. Remember that. Marketing also hates systems, which is nice and carefree, but it makes it a huge pain in the *ss to get a job. In order to get a job in marketing, you have to market yourself, which is how I gave myself the name Scat. I had toyed around with calling myself Mr. Pretentious, but Scat sounded more fast track and sane.

CCCPB: Wow. That’s one hell of a story. Now tell us, did you really develop Fukk? And how did you come up with the idea, and if you did, why the hell do you not own the trademark?

Scat: Oh. Well, I read somewhere that the average adult has three million dollar ideas per year. I just thought to myself if I could just make one of those ideas a reality, I would be set for life. And on my birthday, January 7th, at ten past two, I get an idea. It is f*cking brilliant. It is Coca-Cola Fukk. And yes, Fukk is my idea, not Sneaky Pete’s. Sneaky Pete is a shifty, backstabbing little son of a b*tch. But I’ll get to that later. The funny thing is, at the time, I thought Sneaky Pete was the coolest person I’ve ever met. He was actually my roommate. He was a quiet kind of person, and but had a bad*ss history. Supposedly he was a wild child of marketing, going through Japan reviving brand after brand before coming to the US. He’s actually a fresh marketing graduate from Singapore who has never worked in his life, and the most valuable possession is a crumpled little book called Through American Eyes: The Asian Stereotype. He attended the Guandong Technical School, where he managed bare passing grades. Despite all of this, he was a good friend and roommate so I obviously turned to him for help with Fukk. He introduces me to the absolutely ravishing 6, who is currently my partner in the summer campaign. 6 is also currently hiding her desire for me under a charade of lesbianism. No. Seriously. Anyways, in all the excitement, I forget that I did not actually get the trademark for Fukk, and I remember this when I am offered 3 million dollars by Coca-Cola for the trademark. By the time I get to the patent office, I realize that Sneaky Pete already trademarked Fukk, and its not officially his. I basically just p*ssed three million dollars into the wind through sheer stupidity. After that I basically threw myself out of the apartment, and have since been through a few stints of homelessness. Sadly.

CCCPB: Oh ouch. I don’t really want to say this but. You’re a dumb*ss you know that?

Scat: Yeah, I know. If I was smart I would be in Law School, not sitting here in front of you and participating in this interview.

CCCPB: Touche. But have you read the statement Sneaky Pete just released? He claims that Coca-Cola Fukk was his own idea, and that he did not steal anyone’s ideas.

Scat: And that of course, is complete bullshit. He completely stole my idea. Just ask 6! She was the first one to hear my idea and give it the OK to show the Board of Directors. Sneaky Pete has a fucked up moral system. He won’t screw me over for money, but he will betray me for business. It kind of makes sense, but not really.

CCCPB: Well have you seen or tried Coca-Cola Fukk? What do you think?

Scat: I think its amazing. The can looks absolutely stunning, and the extra-carbonization idea is great. You know that the Coke inside is just plain old Coke? There is no new flavor or formula. It only tastes “better’ because of all the hype. Perception is Reality. But whatever, I just wish it was mine.

CCCPB: Well now that you got shafted on Coca-Cola Fukk, what are you doing now for Coca-Cola?

Scat: Well like I said earlier I am currently working with 6 on the new Coca-Cola Summer Campaign. Its kind of a doomed project with an impossible deadline with no tangible reward, but we’re giving it our best shot.

CCCPB: Wow. Good luck with that. I just want to say thanks for having this interview with us, and I hope that we will be able to talk again in the near future.

Scat: Sure no problem. To all you fans out there, just keep your eyes open for the new Coca-Cola summer campaign. Its bound to have my handiwork in there somewhere.

Just a heads up to you faithful subscribers, we’re having a Coca-Cola Summer Ad Campaign contest! Just send in your ideas, and the winners will receive free Coca-Cola vintage posters! The deadline is coming up really fast so don’t be late with your entries!

This is just one of the many posters that are being offered as a prize! Who can resist a Coca-Cola poster with a scantily clad woman on it? Exactly. So hurry up with those entries!

Just one of the many posters you could win!

Just one of the many posters you could win!

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